


Kittens

by Dendritic_Trees



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Constructive Criticism Welcome, Fluff, Gen, Kittens, Steve can't stay out of trouble, adorable things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2014-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-06 16:15:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1864206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dendritic_Trees/pseuds/Dendritic_Trees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sleeping kitten has the density of a black hole.  No one can escape once trapped under a kitten.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kittens

“How long, _exactly_ , are you planning on sitting there?” Asked Natasha. 

“I’m making sure she’s okay,” Bucky replied from his position draped over the back of the couch, peering into the closet.

Natasha leaned over for a look, and got hissed at for the trouble before Bucky grabbed a fistful of her blouse and hauled her backwards.  “Stop that,” he snarled, “you’re crowding her.”

Natasha rolled her eyes.  Twice.  “She looks fine.  I think she’ll cope without the assistance of your _constant staring._ ”

“She’s a _very_ small cat.  She has a _lot_ of kittens.  I am making sure she’s okay.” Bucky repeated. 

“She’s _fine_.” Natasha repeated.

“Go away _Natalia_.”

“I will not, _James_.  You can’t name your stupid cat after me, and then go around acting like she can’t take care of herself.  Its insulting. I’m offended.”

“Tasha is not a stupid cat.”

After that the debate became moot, because Tasha lived up to her namesake and hissed them straight out of the room. 

 

Tasha’s ability to manage seven kittens with an impressive degree of aplomb for a very small cat did very little to deter Bucky’s persistent over-protectiveness to the point that the fourth round of “No, Barton, go away.  Because they haven’t had their shots yet and I don’t know where you’ve been, that’s why” made Tony laughed like a loon and say, rather loudly, “I don’t think there are any kittens, I think you’ve made them up.”

“That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say Stark.”  Bucky said as he stalked back into his room.

“The kittens definitely exist,” commented Natasha.

“Oh really?” said Tony.

"Yup, there were seven, they looked like fuzzy jelly beans.” Natasha said.

“They’re adorable and I hate you all,” replied Bucky through the door.

 

The third person to see the kittens was Steve, because he happened to be walking down the hall when Bucky’s door was open for the first time in two months and stuck his head round the door.

“Hey there Bucky,” he said.

“Hmmm,” replied Bucky, who was lying on the floor totally engrossed with the tiny tortoiseshell kitten who was batting at a lock of his hair.

There were five other kittens visible.  Two more tortoiseshell’s, who were playfighting in a corner, and three black ones, who were playing some sort of chasing game over the furniture and generating more noise than should actually be possible for tiny balls of fluff.   Steve bent down and captured one as it ran past.  The kitten spent a minute attacking the drawstring of the hoodie he was wearing, then curled up in his hands and started purring.  Tasha had returned to her usual home on the balcony, Steve could just see the end of her tail through the window.

“So do these little guys have names yet?” Steve asked.

Bucky didn’t look up from the kitten still attacking his hair.  “This one’s Spider,” he mumbled, and those are Natka and Talya. I’m still deciding about the boys.”

“You can’t name _all_ the cats after Natasha,” said Steve.

“Only the girl cats are named after Natasha,” said Bucky, as though that made it perfectly reasonable to name four separate cats after a single person.

Steve looked down at the unnamed kitten in his hand, “Well you can’t name them all after Nat.  I’ll name this one.” He said, flopping onto the floor, since Bucky refused to get up.  “He can be…” he lifted the kitten up to get a better look at him.  The kitten bounced onto his shoulder, scrabbled for purchase for a moment, flopped down and went to sleep.  Meaning that Steve couldn’t move for fear of disturbing him, but could feel his tiny kitten breaths on the side of his neck.  “He can be called Carter.”

Bucky nodded, which sent Spider into a frenzy, “Sure,” he said, “Okay –“ there was a soft thump and an outburst of pitiful mewling from behind the plant in the back corner of the room.  “GODAMMIT!”  Bucky yelled and got to his feet.

Spider added some yowling of her own, since Bucky’s hair was no longer available for her to play with, and then ran over to clamber on Steve’s outstretched legs.

Bucky went, and stood over his plant, hands on hips, and proceeded to rant at the source of the mewling, “that is the fourth time.  The fourth.  You cannot climb that.  Why do you keep trying to climb that?  Why can’t you stay out of trouble like everyone else?”  He bent down and fished the seventh kitten out from where it had fallen into the gap between the large pot and the wall.  He held the kitten up to eye level, as though that would help, “you are a nightmare, I don’t know what I’m going to do with you, you’d probably still get in trouble if I locked you in a box, you’re as bad as Steve!”  He paused to glare at the errant kitten, who didn’t seem overly bothered by the telling-off.  He was grey, and the only one of the kittens with short sleek fur like Tasha, instead of clouds of fluff.  “I’m calling this one Steve.” Bucky said as an aside to human Steve.

“You know, that doesn’t really feel like a compliment.  Actually I think I’m kind of offended.” Steve replied.

“Good, it wasn’t one and you should be,” snapped Bucky. 

Steve the kitten picked that moment to launch himself out of Bucky’s hands and onto his left shoulder, failed to gain purchase on the metal, and would have fallen on the floor if Bucky hadn’t caught him again.  Human Steve choked on a laugh, not wanting to wake Carter up.

Bucky looked totally outraged.  “Stop laughing at my cat.   He’s only a baby.  That’s just cruel.  Why would you do that to him after I named him after you?  He still gets in less trouble than you do you know.”

Steve made an honest effort not to laugh at Bucky, glowering and snarling about his kittens.  He failed.

Bucky glowered even harder and flung himself back onto the floor.  Kitten Steve took that at leave to bound off in search of more trouble.  Natka and Talya, who Steve couldn’t yet tell apart came over and briefly resumed tussling with Spider, using Steve and Bucky as an obstacle course.  Then Natka and Talya fell asleep in a pile on top of Bucky’s chest.  Spider briefly continued her game by herself, tugging on the drawstring of Steve’s hoodie, and then flopped over like someone had flipped her off switch. 

 

Sleeping kittens have a density similar to black holes.  Which left Steve and Bucky with something of a problem when Steve the kitten once again, got trapped behind the plant pot.  And they were forced to resort to yelling for help.

Sam actually looked frankly concerned when he stuck his head around the door.  “You alright there?”

“We’re trapped.  You need to go save Steve,”  Bucky explained.

Sam looked over of Steve where he was pinned under two kittens worth of immovable weight. 

Bucky sighed.  “No, the other Steve, behind the plant.”

“Right,” sighed Sam, stepping over their legs on the way to save kitten Steve from himself.

Kitten Steve purred uproariously when Sam retrieved him.  Bucky looked disgusted.  Steve laughed at the sight of him silently scrunching his nose and pressing his lips together over Sam holding a tiny gray cat. 

“I don’t get it.” Sam said.  “Why is he called Steve?  Is there some hilarious old-timey story involving a fern I should know about?”

“He gets in trouble over and over,” Bucky moaned, “he’s hopeless.”

“Hey,” whined Steve. 

“Well you do.” Sam said to him.  “This little guy doesn’t seem so bad though.  I think he just has ambition.”

“Yes.  Ambition to get in as much trouble as humanely possible,” Bucky muttered.

“Felinely possible,” human Steve corrected.

“Yes, _you_ get in as much trouble as humanely possible.” Bucky replied.

“You do,” agreed Sam.  Then he tucked Steve the kitten into his pocket and walked back out the door.

“Hey,” Bucky called after him.  “No.  Stop.  Come back here and bring me back my cat.  Bring him back!  Give me back my kitten Wilson I am very dangerous.”

Sam’s laughter echoed down the hallway.       

                


End file.
